Damn Hormones
by LaDyViL
Summary: Written for kink meme 2, but not so kinky. Prompt: Pregnant!Lavi with loving, cooing Husband!Tyki. Warning: Yaoi, Lucky, Yullen, Mpreg, OOC, Hormones overload.


**A/N:** Found this prompt in the second kink meme and thought of fulfilling it.

**Prompt:** Tyki/Lavi. Pregnant!Lavi with loving, cooing Husband!Tyki.

**Warning:** Yaoi. LUCKY. YULLEN. Mpreg. Swearing. OOCness with very good reasons. Hormones overload.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own D. Gray-man. If I did, I'd have been rich by now and not stuck with such slow internet connection.

* * *

-Sniff-

_Not again..,_ he looked up from his book. "Now what?"

The redhead glared at him. "This stupid hormone thingy is making me so fucking girly!" He looked thoughtful for awhile. "Hmm, that rhymes."

Kanda rolled his eyes and continued his reading, hopefully with no further disturbance.

-Sniff-

And his peaceful leisure time went flying away. "What?!"

Lavi glared at him. Again. "I don't fucking know! Blame the damn hormone! No, better yet, blame that hot, sexy Portuguese man! He's the one who can't control that libido of his and made me pregnant!"

"Oh, really? Because I'm sure I remember YOU _begging _for more and promising to _castrate_ me had I stop, honey bunny." The man nibbled his surprised lover's neck, marking him on the same spot he made earlier that morning. "What was it again? Oh yeah, '_Stop and I'll rip your dick off' _if I'm not mistaken." He smiled at his blushing lover boy while the Japanese man cupped his own jewel. The image from that sentence was enough to make any sane, healthy man running out of the room. But of course, who said Kanda Yuu was sane?

Lavi pouted a very cute pout. "I'd never cut it off, sweetheart. I like the sex too much, you know. And really, you being the ex-Noah of Pleasure, you're a walking Kama Sutra. I have to be crazy, a monk or straight to cut your nice package off." That just made Tyki grinned wider.

Kanda prided himself in being a very cold-blooded person. One who can stand seeing a hoard of naked men and women parading in front of him and yawn. However, seeing his pregnant best friend talking about his behind the door activities with his lover spelled one word and only one word. AWKWARD. "Since you're here now, keep an eye on that baka usagi. The last time he was left unattended, he raided the kitchen. I don't want Jerry knocking my door late at night just to stop a hungry rabbit in search for food." He started to gather his books and walked out of the room. He needed to find somewhere he could get some well deserved peace.

"Yes, we wouldn't want that, don't we? Thank you for taking care of him, Kanda." Tyki received a '_Whatever'_ as his reply, typical of Kanda. "Oh yes, bunny dear. The cake that you wanted was sold out."

"WHAAAAAATTTT!!!!!" A booming scream was heard, making the innocent bystanders along the corridor jumped and scurried off in fright of the pregnant, hormone-induced bunny's anger. Kanda just sighed and walked towards the library. He needed to get his ears checked. It seemed too silent around him. If he went deaf because of the stupid rabbit, he's going to pull some bunny eardrums out, all right.

"Calm down bunny dear. I said that the one you wanted was sold out but there's good news too. The original was too sugary for you so I..." He seemed to be searching for the right phrase here. "...ASKED them to make one that is less sugary for you and it should be finished in 3 hours." Lavi looked up with a teary eye. The word '_Why'_ could clearly be seen on his face. "You wouldn't want to get fat now, do you dear?"

Lavi paled. "Do..do I look fat Ty-chan?" He's been wondering about that but seriously, his appetite was as bad as Allen's this day. Must be 'coz he's carrying a child with Noah blood. "Should I go on a diet, Ty-chan?"

Tyki laughed. "Nonsense, dear. You don't look any bigger than the first day I saw you if only at this part." He touched Lavi's belly where his child is growing. " I just said that since you have been so worried about your figure these days, so I thought it's best for you to lay low a little on the calories. I have no idea who has been planting ideas about you getting fatter but I can assure you, you look absolutely delicious."

Lavi seemed to absorb the explanation and a smirk formed on his sweet lips. "Mind if I test that statement?" He jerked Tyki's collar closer towards his face. Tyki lifted an eyebrow. Facing his lover so close that they share the same breath, Lavi whispered slowly. Seductively. "Me." He touched Tyki's lips with his. "You." And again. "Door." He motioned at the door of his room while continuing to touch the other's lips with his. "Standing." A looooooooong deep kiss. "Mansex." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

Tyki did not need any more prompts. He knew what his honey bunny needed and he was more than willing to fulfill it. Damn he loves these hormones.

* * *

**OMAKE**

Kanda Yuu was walking peacefully along the corridor when suddenly...

"CROWN BELT!"

...he was hanging upside down with his books thrown all over the floor. Allen had him in a tight grip that he couldn't move even if he wanted to. _Why does he look like he was crying?_

"You stupid bakanda. You stupid Yuu. Baka Yuu. Pervert Yuu. Sex-fiend Yuu." All these was said by a red-eyed tearful Allen.

Even the cold-blooded Kanda doesn't have the heart to yell at his Moyashi when he's like this. So, with the utter most gentleness while having blood rushing through his head from being hanged upside down, he said, "Moyashi, what's wrong honey?".

The white-haired boy whipped his head and glared straight at Kanda in what he could only say, a death glare. "TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!"

Kanda was confused. _What is the Moyashi saying? Why is he acting like this? It's like he's having some hormone overload like the stupid rabbit._ Realization dawned on him then. "Oh, shit."


End file.
